Well, I started off with good intentions.

Hi all!

Well, I started off my trip to NJ with the best of intentions, but all I can say is that I am sooo glad the holiday food is GONE!!!! It is officially out of our house, out of my parents house and I am back home. I swear if I lived in NJ I would weigh 900 pounds! Let's talk on the upside. I worked out everyday except for one...and the one day I did not workout I didn't because I made myself sick...yep that's right I ate so much crap one night I made myself sick.


The majority of my meals were not GREAT because I was not cooking them and making them myself. However, they were as balanced as I could get them. The worse night was the cousin's party, which was on Tuesday night. We had everything from veggies, to sausage and peppers to desserts. Ya, Wednesday was the day that I was sick! It was awful! Let's not do that again!


Enough on what I did wrong though. It's the holidays and I made conscious decisions to do those actions. No need to dwell. I am back and tomorrow it is back to 3 bottles of water a day, I set out my meals for tomorrow already and I am ready to get back on the horse. However, the one thing I think I am NOT going to be doing tomorrow is weigh in. I can tell you that I gained weight, but I know that seeing the number will not be good for me. It will only put me in a bad place mentally and I don't need that.


So, sorry I don't have better news for everyone, but if anyone can tell me they did perfect during the holidays I would love to know how! However, I am learning that it is not really about perfection it is about the journey and on this journey, which is for a lifetime there will be holidays, parties and other activities. I am not always going to want to eat perfect. This time though I did go a bit overboard.

Eating healthy during a blizzard!

Hi All!

Well I made it to NJ. Last night was an interesting eating night. I took a night flight to NJ so I ate an "extra" light snack halfway through the flight...which was technically in the middle of the night, but I was awake and hungry...it was an apple and almonds.

Today when we landed we I was off to a FANTASTIC start for the day. We had a crazy day so we went straight to a diner for breakfast. I ordered directly off my "Fawn Menu" and I even brought measuring cups along to make sure I was being good with portions. I ordered an oatmeal with bananas and an egg white and a whole egg. That was it. Then I was off for my day. I ate every three hours, but because it was such a busy day and we had SO much to do, before the blizzard hit (yes I said blizzard) I never got to eat an actual lunch. So, I continued to eat every 3 to 3 and 1/2 hours, but I just ate my snack. We finally checked into our hotel and I did my workout. So, since I am really only supposed to be working out six days a week and today would have been my day off I only did 30 minutes on the treadmill, but I ran! Then NAP TIME!! I was super tired!

Then came dinner. I had done so well all day and I still think I did pretty well, but I wish I had not eaten so LITTLE all day. I wish I had eaten my meals. I say this because what it did was it set me up so that come dinner time I was STARVING!!! I begged my dad to take me out in the blizzard and purchase some "Fawn food." We went and almost died doing it, but made it safety back. I started by only having turkey, cheese sandwich on a half of a whole wheat bun, but then they brought the corn chips and salami out. Now, the corn chips were not awful...I read the ingredients...they were organic and as far as chips go were the better of the bunch. The salami was not great I'll admit, however I never have it and it is a NJ thing! I had like 5 thinly sliced palm sized pieces. Not a ton, but enough. So, you can see it was not a perfect day and I really don't plan on skipping meals again, but I think in the end I probably evened out in calories.

Keep ya posted!

Off to NJ

Hey Bloggers!

Merry Christmas!

Well I hate to say and I never thought I would...but I can't wait for the Holidays to be OVER!!!! I love the meaning of Christmas, the family, friends, the gatherings, but I need this food and the temptations to go AWAY!!!!

I keep comforting myself in "Lauren, you are doing the best you can for right now, this is a lifetime journey and in a lifetime you are going to find the holidays are going to happen." So, to make myself feel better I am working out 7 days a week instead of 6, right or wrong that is what I am doing. I calms me to know that at least everyday I am being active. And, I will admit not all 7 days are running/intense type days, some days are recovery type days. However, I know that come the New Year, I won't have to "start a diet" I will just be able to get back to my "regular routine."

Well, today is Christmas and I hope that everyone is enjoying their families. Tonight my family and I are off to NJ to see our VERY LARGE EXTENDED FAMILY. In case you missed it we are Italian so there is A WHOLE LOT OF US and what I am dreading most A WHOLE LOT OF FOOD! It will just have to be one meal at a time, one snack at a time, one workout at a time (yes I will be working out while I am there). My brother and I get memberships to the YMCA. I can do this. I know I can I just have to stay true to my portions and AWAY FROM THE DESSERT TABLES!!!

Please say some prayers for me!


I probably won't get to blog while I am there so I will see you all when I get back. Stay strong and stay on program! Keeping you all in my thoughts!

Lauren

Setting ourselves up to FAIL!

As I was wrapping today I had the T.V. on and I could not help but notice that the diet commercials started. This was a major coincidence because today ended up being my 20% day. As I attempted to enjoy my 20% day I wondered to myself why it was so hard for me to do so. Is my relationship with food that is deranged? Is it some sort of eating disorder? No! It is simply that I have been on diets far too long and they have done a number on my way of thinking...in a very negative way! Let's take Jenny Craig for example. That was the one I was on the longest. You get a menu and a certain amount of calories, then you have to weigh in once a week. In my case if I did not stick to those calories I would gain weight. So, I would get really, really down on myself when I would go off the menu. When I say I went off the menu I do not mean I went particularly crazy, I mean that life happened. However, because I was on so few calories anytime I went off the menu I gained weight.

Skip forward to this journey. Now here I am trying to live my life with the concept of 80% and 20% and I took today as a 20%. I had whole wheat crackers, cheese, turkey, cheese, whole wheat bread, and some tiny tiny cookies (all together sounds like a lot, but I did not feel bad about it ... at first...I felt like I had done a good job with this... it also took the place of a meal and two snacks, so I was not doubling up on meal calories or anything...it was all spread out). However, when I let myself really think about it I get down on myself, so sure that I have ruined everything because I have not stuck exactly to the plan. This is what diets do to you. They set you up to FAIL so that when you go out into the real world and attempt a plan/ journey like this it takes forever to rework your thought process.

Another concept plaguing me at this moment is that weigh in was today. I hate being a women for this very reason...I gained 3 pounds. Now, I know I had 2 episode...LAST WEEKEND! But that should not account for a 3 pound increase! I understand that I fluctuate just like every other woman out there, but it can be really frustrating. I never want to be in the 200's again and I am really close.

So, I am thinking that I will not have another 20% day until I am far enough away from the 200's that I can be very comfortable. However, is that the smart thing to do? Or is that going back into the diet mentality? I don't know.

One thing I do know is I can't wait for the Christmas food to be out of the house!

Wanting things now!

We all do it...we all want things now...we all hate to wait. It's that inner child that comes out and says I WANT IT NOW! This can apply to anything: weight loss, a transformation, a guy who says he will call, a guy who you want to have ask you out, a promotion, a raise, a new house, it can be anything. When we want something we usually don't want to wait for it. That's why as kids going to sleep on Christmas eve was so super difficult. There was this excitement that we felt. We just could not wait to see what Santa brought us. Now, depending on where we are in our lives we just can't wait to get to the new year to see what God has in store. "Will this be my year" we wonder. "Will I find my true love," "Will he ask me out," "Will I get that promotion," ""Will I buy that house," "What wonderful things will come my way."

However, for most of us on this journey the first question is "Will I accomplish my goal? Now, I have faith in myself that I will accomplish my goal. That is not my concern. What drives me crazy, keeps my mind going, what I have to learn to give up to God Himself is what will be the next steps. This is the new "Christmas Eve Excitement for adults." You see dear friends I have wasted (yes, wasted) so many years of my life on this "weight issue" that I am so excited to see what my future holds! I know He holds wonderful things for my future, but I, like everyone else want those things NOW. I have to learn to WAIT! In time, those thins will come and they will come at the right time. I will loose my weight at the right time, I will reach my goals at the right time, I will meet my person at the right time, I will get married at the right time. I can't control my future. I can't control what HE is supposed to control. All I can control is this journey and how I do from day to day, moment to moment. That's it, the rest has to be given to God and held in His hands and then miracles happen.

Letting God guide me.

So I thought I had this journey nailed. I thought I was good. I thought I could do it with my eyes closed. I was wrong! I talked about Friday...you all know how that went. Saturday was better. Sunday...a photocopy of Friday. What I am learning is that I am human, I make mistakes, but if I can get back up and start all over again that is really the best part. I essentially started all over again this morning. I had a great workout and followed my eating plan to a "T."

The holidays are difficult, eating wise, for anyone and everyone...anyone who says differently is lying. However, I decided last night after a very very very long talk/text with Fawn (thank you Fawn) I realized that I can talk to Fawn and Zac and they can motivate me and give me advice until they are blue in the face, but really the only person who an make a difference in the journey is me. I have to put in the hard work and I have to put in the time. Here I am willing to do more, willing to say that I messed up real bad and willing to say that I don't want to do that again.

At this point I have lost 25.5 pounds, blew past 200 and it feels so good!!! I love the way I feel! I love how light I feel! I love the way my clothes are feeling! At this point I have to say some real serious prayers, let God guide me and take His hand the rest of the way through this journey because in reality it is me and Him to guide me on this journey. Fawn and Zac are just here to talk to. Today was an A+ for me. I am going to bed tonight ready to make tomorrow another A+ day!

Not one of my better days...

Hi Friends,

I am a little ashamed to put this out there, but if I can't put it out on my blog for all of you to read then what good is the blog ... right?!?


So, as I said last night we had major holiday parties at school all day long and I went into it completely prepared. However, it did not go exactly as planned. The breakfast went great. I mingled, chatted, I didn't eat the food!!! I was so proud of myself (oh ya and I should mention at weigh in this morning I had lost another 5 pounds!) I was on top of the world! Then the afternoon came ...


I was passing out cupcakes to the kids, a parent brought pizza, and another student brought surger cookies. I had 3 tiny bites of the cupcake, a whole surger cookie, 3 bites of a piece of pizza, and more crap! We don't even need to keep mentioning it. Now, I know that I need to live my life by the 80/20 rule and this can be considered my 20% day and I just pick myself up again tomorrow.

However, you have to know me to know that I am really, really, really hard on myself. In my head I am sure that I have now put back on ALL 22 pounds!!!! My first thought is to tell myself ALL OF IT RUINED I MIGHT AS WELL QUIT, but forget that no more of that talk, I like what I am doing now. I like the way I feel when I eat healthy, and get up early to workout. It makes me feel good that I am working on me for a change. So, tomorrow is a new day and I will be back at it tomorrow.

Everyday can't be perfect, most days are hard, but it's that hard days that make the rewards so worth it!!!

So, in closing my friends I ask that you just say a littler prayer for me that the coming days go well for me and that I get back on the plan and I begin to lighten up on myself.

Good night friends and I hope your holidays are going well!

Crazy week!!

Dear Bloggers,

It has been one crazy week and I don't know about you but I have been pounded and surrounded by Christmas parties! Along with Christmas parties comes sweets and junk food and all those tasty things that will not do me any good! Anyway, my biggest thing right now is tomorrow morning at work we have our Holiday Breakfast! Okay so there is going to be so much good food there, but I really don't want to have my 20% day until the day AFTER Christmas (when we go to New Jersey and have our big cousin party). I am really working hard to be under 200 pounds for NJ AND save my 20% day for NJ. This is my small goal. I know that I can do this. As for tomorrow I just have to eat my breakfast before I go to work and mingle instead of worry about the food. That's it!

Now, last time I blogged I mentioned that I hit my first goal...yep that's right I am currently under 200%, but not by much, just by a sliver so I was trying to be really really on top of it this week. My new goal will be to hit 180. I can do this I know I can. I was pretty skeptical about getting this far, but now that I have I am pretty sure that with God on my side and Fawn to push me further then I would have ever pushed myself I can do ANYTHING!

Oppostion one week and Blessings another!

Dear Blogger,

I find myself amazed at the transition from last week to this week. Last week we all were hit hard by the opposition! There are some amazing things happening and clearly we were upsetting something in the universe. However, I look at this week and the amazing blessings. For example, just when you need it most a colleague calls your name from across the yard just to tell you how FANTASTIC you look. Right there is a blessing! It is amazing to me the contrast from one week to the next.

I am learning to take the moments of opposition in stride and recognize them for what they are. However, I am so grateful for my blessings...no matter how small they might seem at the time because it is the blessings that will pull us through our darkest moments of this journey.

Whether is makes sense or not those are my thoughts for the night. Good night all and may the Lord bless you as fully as He has me! :)

Down 6 pounds!!!

Dear Bloggers,

Let me tell you what happens when I wake up for a week and go to the gym and 5:00 in the morning. I lost 6 POUNDS! Yep that's right...you heard me right 6 POUNDS!!! Plus, I reached my first goal! I broke 200 pounds and I can officially say I will never ever see those numbers again! THANK YOU LORD! I am still working on getting to bed early so I can wake up early and increasing my cardio. Hopefully, the numbers will continue to go down.


Bye for now!

Where Have I been?

Okay so Fawn made an interesting comment the other day "It will go as fast as you want or as slow as you want." This made me think it is all based on how hard I work. I know simple right. I just haven't really been thinking about it like this before. So, starting last Monday I got myself out of bed at 5AM and went to the gym. I decided to start doing this because the gym in the thing I HATE the most and going after work only makes it WORSE!! It has been GREAT! I have had sooo much more energy for teaching during the day, I have been in a better mood and everything. The only down side is I have to work really, really hard and getting in bed early at night to make sure I get the 7-8 hours of sleep in and still be able to get up by 5. So, here I go off to sleep. Good night!!!

Let's make it 5 pounds away...

Okay so today's weigh in did not go exactly as expected. I actually gained 2 pounds, but that's okay last week was a big week with Thanksgiving and all. Also, I have not been reducing that last snack like I was supposed to be doing. On top of that I had Greek yogurt 3 days in a row (I just love that stuff!) So I think these are some of the possible reasons why the two pounds might have gone up and not down. I am not stressing...thanks to a looonnng conversation with Fawn...THANK YOU FAWN! I know that all I have to do it just amp up the cardio (when I'm feeling better) and cut that last snack in half. Also, I don't think I have been putting enough time in between my eating. Sometimes on the weekends I will eat every 2 hours.

If it sounds like I just admitting everything I have done wrong I am because then I wont do it again. This is the best way to hold myself accountable.


As for tonight, even though I was not feeling well I still went to the gym and I am glad that I did. I got 30 minutes in and that is good enough for tonight because I am feeling really really lousy!

Tomorrow will be nothing by better!

BLAH!!!

Okay so here is the deal...I woke up this morning with a yuk throat and a stuffy nose. That is bad news especially because I have a crazy busy weekend and for the next TWO WEEKS I have parent conferences, so it is not like there is time to take off or get sick!!!! So, I did not go to the gym tonight, which is technically fine because I am allowed to have one day off. However, because I can be a little crazy and my weigh in is tomorrow I am of course worried that not working out tonight is going to affect what my weight is tomorrow. I know I'm nuts, but I am working on it!

Everyone just cross your fingers that the weigh in goes well...as of last week I was only 3 pounds away from my first goal! I hope tomorrow I am just that much closer!!!!

P.S. also prey that this cold or whatever it is goes away!

Amazing!

As you may or may not know I purchased a house this past summer. I have really enjoyed getting it all together and I have REALLY enjoyed decorating it MY way for the holidays. However, I just had the most AMAZING experience tonight. I invited my parents over (no not the first time), but this time I cooked them dinner instead of the other way around! I cooked them a VERY VERY healthy and it felt so good to host them in my house and be able to cook them such a healthy meal!

I am so excited about all the wonderful things that are in my life and all that I have been blessed with! It is truly amazing and God is truly wonderful.

Too Hard...What to do?

Okay so Fawn has asked me to cut my last snack in half.  Sounds simple right?  WRONG!!!  This is the greatest struggle for me right now.  I am still hungry after doing it!!!  I end up eating the whole snack because I am hungry and I don't want to let myself get too hungry because if I do I am afraid of what will happen...you know I might go off and eat something I shouldn't!!! 

There is another thing too...I am slightly irritated with the stupid stair stepper this evening.  I did my 30 minutes on it and I increased the intensity...a lot!!  I went from 55 to between 65 to 85!  I know can you believe that!!!!  I couldn't I was stunned!  Well catch this I barley broke a sweat.  Now when I exercise I like to feel the sweet it is like the reward for me, but tonight there was no sweet!!!!!  Super irritating. 

This is what I imagine Fawn's response will be:
"Drink more water."  I love you Fawn, but I am gonna float away!!!! 

I did have a cup of coffee this morning does anyone think it had something to do with that?!?!?!?!?

Back on track!

Okay so I am back on track and it feels good.  Although here is my biggest complaint...I have not been working this week so I have not really been on a schedule, which is a HUGE problem for me! It means I get to sleep in, which is great, but it pushes my whole schedule back and I find that I am hungry all day long.  So, this is my biggest reason for being excited to go back to work.  It will put me on a schedule. 

I went to the gym this morning even though I was still exhausted from the Thanksgiving excitement and the black Friday shopping....basically it is all about the keep on keepin on! 

:)

"I can't wait for the holidays to be over!"

I don't know about you all, but I am so SUPER SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING THAT PHRASE and it is really only the first day of the holiday season!  Okay now I get it not everyone has the perfect family, but common on it's CHRISTMAS!  However, I will say this I can't wait for the FOOD to be gone!  It's killing me!  So, my day started out great I went back to my 80% day, but then dinner came (is everyone else hearing the doom music in the background like I did?)  Anywho!  I didn't go overboard or anything I simply had three maybe four tiny picks at the stuffing and the same at the cranberry sauce.  I just want the food to be gone. 

However, here is a tip for anyone who is missing the Holiday Starbucks high calorie/fat drinks!  Try Peppermint tea!  It has hit the spot every time for me!  :)


Tomorrow is another day and another try...can't be perfect and it's not about perfection...it's about the transformation!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hi Everyone! 

So today was Thanksgiving!  One of the best days of the year!  It starts the wonderful holiday season, but with that comes the dreaded food and the scary decisions that many of us for so long have either ignored or feared, it just depends what side of that you ended up on.  I went into this evening so sure that tonight was going to be different then every other Thanksgiving.  I had all the tools I needed.  I had the mindset that Fawn had set me out with, and the menu that Fawn and I had worked so hard on. 

Let me tell you how it turned out...I ate all day like Fawn told me to...the best way I knew how.  Then dinner came and I ate my portions, but I also ate a litter more then planned, but I am going to share because I am trying to live my life in the 80/20 style.  80% of the time I eat healthy, I eat the way that I know is right and 20% of the time I am allowed to have mistakes eat the things I know will not always be good for me.  However, in doing this and knowing that today was a 20% day I want to share with you.  Along with what Fawn and I had I also has a bread roll and little more pie then planned (instead of the half a piece I had a regular piece) and a few tastes of hard sauce (please don't even ask what that is made out of!). 

Now I know that does not sound like much, but for me in the past I would be like oh dumb me I messed up my diet!  I guess we are done now....let's finish the whole pie!  Well not quite, but you get the idea.  However, I had an EXCELLENT weight in today and a great workout.  I am focusing on that and trying not to think about the bad thoughts that like to creep into my head like "you ruined it" because I know I didn't I simply had a 20% day and tomorrow I will go back to my 80% days. 

11/25/2010

Today was GREAT!  I had a very productive day.  Since I knew I would be working out in the afternoon I did not want to waste the whole morning so I woke up, cleaned up, made some meals for the week, went grocery shopping and then went to see Fawn.  I worked out really hard today, which felt great!  I have been dealing with some inner issues about my future and things that have been on my mind lately and so the workout felt really good. 

Tonight was an interesting night for me.  I had baked a pie because my sister was and her boyfriend were coming over...that was not the difficult part.  The difficult part was serving it up to everyone.  I did not want a piece, I was not hungry for a piece but as I was serving it up I was like wow I could really go for a piece, but just because I was looking at it.  However, I stayed strong and knew that I was not hungry and did not have any.  However, I am REALLY REALLY  looking forward to my slice tomorrow!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! 

Lauren's Healthy Thanksgiving Meals Video!

Lauren's going healthy at Thanksgiving! She is eating everything in moderation! To get some tips for what to eat check out Lauren's Video below!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wEMRKhk-Zo

Harder then I thought...

So there is a chance that the holidays are going to be harder then I thought.  Today, as I was doing more cooking with my mom (one of my favorite things) I realized that I was missing also eating and tasting everything.  So, I am just really looking forward to Thursday when I get to have small portions of everything like Fawn and I talked about.  However, in the meantime I am starting to think ahead about the things I am gonna miss like the Egg Nog.  I  know this is like the most disgusting and fattening thing in the world, but my family always has a cup while lighting the tree.  I think I miss the smell of it more then anything.  Same goes with cookies, I keep really wanting to bake cookies, but I feel like if I bake them right now I am just going to eat them!  So, maybe no baking right now.  I get why the holidays are so hard for people to eat healthy.  I never really got, but I guess that was because I just always NEVER ate healthy during the holidays.  I was always of the mind that the diet could start January 1st.  NOT THIS YEAR!  NO DIETS FOR ME!

11/22/2010

Okay so today began the scary Thanksgiving cooking.  Yes, I know it's only Monday and Thanksgiving is not until Thursday, but we cook in shifts to try and make Wednesday and Thursday less stressful.  Anyway, I cook the pies so I started with that today.  Well that was my first big obstacle.  First problem was that I only had the breakfast smoothie for breakfast...I am 26 and I should know by now that I have to have a really good solid slightly heavier breakfast otherwise I will stay hungry for the rest of the day.  Then I started cooking the pies.  I was really really good, but I will be honest and admit here to EVERYONE that I did have a very small and I mean tiny taste of the pie crust, but everything in moderation right! 

11/21/2010

Sometimes in life we have to do things that are just so difficult and so hard and we just have to hope that our bodies will fall into place and follow suit.  That is kind of what I am feeling today.  Getting up this morning was hard.  I did not want to, I wanted to sleep in, but I had agreed to meet Candi at the gym, so I got up and hoped my body would soon wake up.  Later I didn't want to eat the healthier option that was in front of me I wanted to eat the cake.  I didn't I ate the carrots instead.  Hoping that one day my mind will just skip over the cake. 

Sometimes we all have to do things that are hard and difficult, but they are better choices for us.  Candi said something really important to me this morning as we were working out he said "we didn't get this way over night, so we can't expect to fix it over night." He is right, but that does not help the fact that I would still like to wake up tomorrow morning and have it be done.  I know this may not be making much sense and it may sound like I'm rambling, but these are the thoughts I'm having today.  I really just want to send it out into the cosmic void that is the internet. 

Good night all!

Muffin Top!

Hey All!


Girls this post is mostly for you because you all know what I mean by MUFFIN TOPS!  You know that dreaded thing that hangs over the top of our pants and no matter how much we work we just can't get rid of all of it.  Well I have GREAT NEWS...MINE IS GETTING SMALLER!!  This was a revelation I realized as I was sitting on my yoga mat waiting for Body Pump to start this morning.  I looked in the mirror and I was like WOW something looks waaayyy different.  Then I realized...It was my muffin top!  It was SHRINKING!!!!


That is all for now!

11/19/2010

Okay so I lost 1 pound this week!!!!  Another one down! 

However, I am not going to lie and I will give this warning out...this post might tick some people off.  Now, I know I lost a pound, but since my other weigh ins had been so much more I was have to admit I was a little disappointed that this mornings number was not better then 1 pound.  So, I talked to Fawn this afternoon and explained my disappointment and she quickly snapped me back into shape.  I also have to tell you that reading some of you comments just now also did the trick.  They reminded me why I am on this journey.  I just have to keep telling myself this:

I am on this journey for myself and not for anyone else.  I am on this journey for my health and not for the number.  The number is simply a nice little reward.  I am on this journey to help myself and to take care of myself.  I have spent far too many of my years taking care of other people (AND I AM ONLY 26) I need to start taking care of me so that way I can have MANY more years to take care of other people.  I am on this journey to heal the hurts of the past and look forward to the excitement that God has planned for my future.  I am on this journey not just to loose weight, but to gain my self confidence back, which is coming back and I can already see it.  I can see with every extra smile I hand out, with every extra twinkle in my eye that I see and every time I rearrange my schedule so I can MAKE SURE I fit the gym in, instead of blowing it off. 

That is all for now ... Good night all of Fawn's children! XOXO

11/18/2010

Okay so tomorrow is my big weigh in day.  I am fully aware that this is NOT A DIET AND THAT THIS IS A LIFE STYLE CHANGE...Fawn has only told me that everyday since we started.  However, every time in the past when I was on a diet I could tell when I was loosing weight (probably because I was starving myself to death), but now I can't tell if I have lost weight each week.  Of course over the long haul I can tell with the usual things...my face looks different and my clothes fit differently, but week to week I just cant tell.  I have to be honest it makes me a little nervous and excited to weigh in all at the same time.  Now, I know it is not all about the number, but still the number is a nice little reward to tell whether or not all that hard work is paying off. 

I will keep you posted tomorrow!

11/17/2010

Hello! 

Well I made it through the day.  A little tired, but no worse off then I started.  I got a little gift to brighten my day though...KOST started playing Christmas music today!!!!!  YEY!!!!  My favorite!  So it is nothing by Christmas music from now until Christmas!!!!  Clearly this was my highlight!

Anyway, onto the good stuff.  So, I was just so drained today I did not feel like I could go to my spin class, but on the brighter side I DID go to the gym and do 30 minutes on the stair stepper!!  This is a huge improvement for me because in the past when I was feeling the way I was today I would just blow off the gym and get a frozen yogurt (with lots of toppings).  Also, another hurdle I had today was needing candy.  When I am down in the dumps I CRAVE candy, which is what I wanted ALL DAY LONG, but I stuck to my guns and I ate an apple instead.  I have to be honest I keep surprising myself.

Have a WONDERFUL NIGHT ALL I am going back to listen to my Christmas music! 

11/16/2010

Hi All!

Well tomorrow is the big day...the 7 year anniversary of my second brain surgery.  Yes, I always celebrate or acknowledge this day more then the day of my first brain surgery because in my mind once I got through this day it was all over.  At least that was what I thought.  That was what I thought as I laid there in that hospital bed.  I remember so vividly looking at everyone around me.  Seeing my parents and seeing that they looked scared.  Seeing my brother barley able to keep it together.  Even now as I look back on it and remember it it still feels like it was yesterday.  For just about everyone else in the world tomorrow will come and go just like any other day.  Many people will wake up either looking forward to the day or dreading the day.  Many people will see it as a simple Wednesday the "hump day" of the week, the half way point to the weekend.  

For me when I wake up tomorrow it will be different.  I might feel sad, I might feel happy, I might feel nothing at all.  That's the thing about this I won't really know until I get to the day.  One thing I do know for sure though is that tomorrow will be different.  Not because I will feel different necessarily, but because tomorrow will be the first time in seven years that I will know that I am taking an active role in changing what is happening to me.  Changing what is happening to my body, to my mind and to my spirit.  Seven years ago I really didn't have much of a choice it was either brain surgery or go blind now I have a choice and I've decided to take the path that is going to make me healthier.  However, that does not necessarily mean tomorrow will be easier.

11/15/2010

I want to go with a theme here: Revelations!  Revelations about myself.  I always thought that big moment when I got some clarity would be huge ... you know like you see in the movies.  However, I had a big clarifying moment today and it was just a regular conversation with Fawn.  It wasn't until afterwards that I realized what had taken place. 

I called Fawn for some advice on what else but a guy and there it was the best advice she could have given me...Lauren you have to take care of yourself first, you have to work on yourself first.  Best advice ever!

It gave me a whole new sense of empowerment.  I went to the gym tonight for the first time EVER because I WANTED  TO and NOT because I knew Fawn was going to ask me about it.  I went to the gym tonight and had a FANTASTIC workout.  I pushed myself harder then I think I probably ever had.
Here is what I learned.  In the past, not only have my diets failed because they were not healthy but they were quick fixes.  They also failed because I did not have the right intentions behind them.  I did them to loose weight fast or my mentality was if I loose weight I will look prettier and then it will all fall into place.  I'm learning that that is not right.  I'm BEAUTIFUL!  I just have to take care of myself first. 

Now I know every woman out that can relate to that...at least at some point in their life.   

Video about Lauren's Transformation!

Check out Lauren's story about being on a journey to transformation! She makes being her coach easy! : )

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=fawnwoodfin#p/u/0/oX__xfYDM38

11/13/2010

3 MILES FOR THE HOMELESS BABY!!!  So I just walked three miles for the homeless and it was really great!  There was a FANTASTIC turnout!  It was even my day off from working out!  However, before the walk I was really really nervous because I was not sure if I could do it, but Fawn was like "of course you can it's only three miles!"  Turns out I can!

Then the group went out for lunch.  Group outings is always a little difficult for me because without fail it always involves food.  I was good though I had veggies.  I am finding that I really do enjoy veggies and even veggies without dressing.


Now onto the next challenge of the day (I guess today is really just full of them) tonight is girls night.  A bunch of us girls are all going to hang out at a friends house ... there will be a ton of food.  So my plan is going to be eat my dinner before I go, bring my snack with me and bring veggies for the group!  Let's hope it goes well.

11/12/2010

Okay so today is the first day of officially blogging.  I am not working today so getting myself motivated to do my usual workout routine is a little difficult.  However, the fact that I lost 3 more pounds this past week is GREAT motivation and watching Cande last night was also a HUGE motivating factor for me.  So I just have to do it.  My biggest issue is not the eating.  It it is the exercising...I hate to exercise, but I know it is the best thing for me.  So, I am hoping that blogging will help to keep me on track with working out.  So here I go...of to get my day off to a good start with a walk/run on the treadmill.