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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

First day being on my own...

So Fawn left today. I started my day knowing that Fawn was leaving at 8:55 and I didn't know how I was going to feel. I was sad that she was going to leave, but then at 10:00 when I looked at the clock and realized she was gone I felt an unbelievable sadness and fear. I realized that all of a sudden in an instant I was alone. I now had to do this on my own. There was no Fawn who I was going to see later that day to tell me if it looked like I had gained weight or not. There was no Fawn there to confess to if I ate something I shouldn't have.

Now please don't get me wrong. Fawn and I are not done. We will continue working just in a different way and that different way is going to take a little getting used to. This is going to mean that I am going to start having to hold myself more accountable. This journey has always been for me, but I think for awhile I allowed myself to get very comfortable with Fawn here because I knew she would not let me get away with anything so I was not watching myself as closely because I knew Fawn was. Now, I have to watch myself like crazy.

3 comments:

  1. I am always there in spirit sweet Lauren and I love you so much!!! You are amazing!

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  2. How are you doing Lauren? I know you can make it!! Psalm 16:11--One of my favorite verses :-)

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  3. Lauren, we have never had the priveledge of having fawn close and we are doing it. You had it from the beginning...so I know you can do it! She has taught you all you need to know...now like the little bird in the nest it is time to show the world that you can fly on your own. I know you will do great. You have people that love you and are praying for you all over the US!

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