So Fawn left today. I started my day knowing that Fawn was leaving at 8:55 and I didn't know how I was going to feel. I was sad that she was going to leave, but then at 10:00 when I looked at the clock and realized she was gone I felt an unbelievable sadness and fear. I realized that all of a sudden in an instant I was alone. I now had to do this on my own. There was no Fawn who I was going to see later that day to tell me if it looked like I had gained weight or not. There was no Fawn there to confess to if I ate something I shouldn't have.
Now please don't get me wrong. Fawn and I are not done. We will continue working just in a different way and that different way is going to take a little getting used to. This is going to mean that I am going to start having to hold myself more accountable. This journey has always been for me, but I think for awhile I allowed myself to get very comfortable with Fawn here because I knew she would not let me get away with anything so I was not watching myself as closely because I knew Fawn was. Now, I have to watch myself like crazy.